That girl.
Type out.
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Wednesday, July 15, 2009
 again and again, i wont be able to sleep early. feels like insomnia oh wooh wooh. hahaha ! i moved the boxes out of my room. and it looks more space-y. mom cant stop nagging at me for pushing the boxes through the hall. i'm left with rearranging and reordering things.ayah, i love you. but, you have to stop picking on me. i know i made alot of mistakes. but please, you have to stop pissing me off. you've been treating me badly this past few months. i cant handle it much longer. i gave you respect. but i didnt gain mine. i know i'm not like kakak. i know i have horrible flaws. but i'm still your daughter. and i love you. you dont know how much i've been suffering this past few months. you dont know how i feel you treating me that way. i've been listening to you always. never did i not once. i obeyed what you told me to do and what not to. no matter how hard i try to be a good daughter, you've never seem to like me. i know i havent been a good child last 8 years. but i've changed. and somehow, you dont see that. you dont know how hard i've tried to gain back your trust on me. everything you do is unfair. but i just control my anger and kept quiet. it hurts seeing you trust kakak more than me. if you know her well like i do, i dont think you'll be giving her, her freedom. whatever i do to you is wrong. when it comes to kakak and me, grandmama always says because you love me more. but i dont see that ayah. ayah, i dont know what to do anymore. you have always seen me as the bad child. but i've changed. i've tried so hard to show you. but i cant help it anymore. ayah, do you know that eventhough im closer to ibu, i do wish i were closer to you too. ibu knows everything about me. but you ? ayah, i'm really sorry for all the wrong doings. i really love you. iqah, i'm sorry i had to type this down. i know you're gonna yell. but this is how i express my feelings. you have always seen me so hyperactive and loud. but deep down, i'm really hurting inside. you know how much i want things to be fair. but like you said, life isnt fair. you have to please your parents to get the freedom. if that is true, i dont want to be that kind of parent in the future. dont you think its unfair to treat your kids that way ? iqah, you have always been there for me. lisa, e-in, akmal and adeq too. but i want them part of my life too. like how you and the rest wants too. i want the attention to be equal for us. espeacially you, me, lisa, e-in and akmal. again, i'm sorry. and seriously, whats with people misunderstanding me huh ? annoying fuck. one after another. look, i'm getting sick. my head is spinning. so dont piss me off. and i'm not having one of those pms. ayah is pissed off at me. and i'm pissed off at him for saying that way to me in the evening. my bill, i'll handle it. you dont have to be all sarcasticly rude. look, i love you. but i have my limits. fadzli wanted to pay my bills. but i declined. he is such a sweet guy. he kept thinking of ways so that he can pay my bills. haha ! its okaay. my bills, i pay. shall update again in the afternoon. sweetdreams, Y ! Label : somebody call 911. |
Runaway.
BESTFRIEND!
ROBINA!
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